


Keep your organs on the inside, we don't have time for this

by thought



Series: All your dead unfinished selves [4]
Category: Wolf 359 (Radio)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-15
Updated: 2018-09-15
Packaged: 2019-07-12 19:06:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16001429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thought/pseuds/thought
Summary: Four Valentines Days in the life of daniel Jacobi.





	Keep your organs on the inside, we don't have time for this

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted to tumblr feb 2018, but putting it here for completion's sake

Valentines Day 2011 Daniel Jacobi wakes up hungover tangled up in sheets that he hasn't washed since before Christmas. He drinks three cups of coffee and does not add a shot of whisky to any of them, no matter how much he wants to, and then he throws them all back up in the men's bathroom in the basement of the Chemistry building, staring at the black mould around the lid of the toilet tank.

He lectures about the structure of the atom to 300 undergrads, all of whom are only taking this course because it's a science requirement that doesn't start until noon, and then he goes home and eats drugstore chocolate with swigs of vodka straight from the bottle until he passes out.

It's about the same as any other day, really.

*

Valentines Day 2012 Jacobi is supposed to be going on his first date with Klein, the quiet guy on Lovelace's team with heterochromia and four Red dwarf posters in his office. Lovelace set them up. She says it's because she thinks they'd be cute together but Jacobi's pretty sure it's because she thinks Kepler's stupid enough to get Jacobi on his knees under his desk on his lunch break and Jacobi's stupid enough to agree. One of those is false.

The first date doesn't happen.

Kepler says, "Mr. Jacobi, I have a special assignment for you. It's a little above your current clearance level, but I know I can trust you,"

and Lovelace says, "Are you fucking kidding me, warren,"

and Pillay says, "Is that what they're calling it these days,"

and Hades says, "he likes the feel of it in his hand, everyone,"

and Klein says, "It's ok, Daniel. I understand,"

And Jacobi says. "When do we leave?"

*

Valentines Day 2013 Jacobi spends with Klein, but they're both lying on their stomachs in a ditch while Pillay bleeds out somewhere in the woods behind them.

"Does this mean the romance is dead?" Jacobi asks, instead of 'this is why I don't want to work with anyone but Kepler,' or 'Where the fuck is lovelace?', or 'Major Kepler would have found us by now,' or 'if Kepler were here we wouldn't be in this mess to begin with.'

"You almost dislocated your shoulder," Klein says, "that's basically romance for you," and Jacobi knows he's joking, knows he's panicking because one of his teammates took three bullets to her leg and shoulder and the other has been glitching for no reason all week and his CO still hasn't fucking found them, but--

Nope. That's too close. Nobody should be close enough to joke about the really specific ways his head is fucked up. That position's reserved for... well. It's just. Reserved. And if certain dramatic whisky-drinking assholes don't want to fill it, that's just fine with Jacobi.

"I think we're moving a little fast," Jacobi says. "Maybe we should take a break."

*

Valentine's Day 2014 Jacobi wakes up next to Douglas motherfucking Eiffel and wants to jump out the window.

"Hey," says Eiffel. "I'm gonna make pancakes. You wanna text Maxwell? Kepler and Lovelace have that meeting, but I bet Maxwell isn't up yet and I definitely know for sure she doesn't have any food in her kitchen."

"Poptarts count as food," Jacobi says, automatically. Eiffel gets out of bed and Jacobi does not roll over into the warm spot where he'd been lying. Eiffel is wearing Star Wars boxers, because he's the kind of guy who cleans up and puts his underwear on after sex, and makes sure everybody's hydrated and phones are charging and then kisses Jacobi goodnight like they're in some kind of fucking Disney bullshit.

"I mean, you're not wrong," Eiffel says. "But Lovelace gives me the 'not angry just disappointed' eyes if I don't make sure you guys get at least one serving of fruit and vegetables a week, and I know for a fact Kepler hasn't had time to cook since at least Sunday."

"I don't even know where to start with that," Jacobi says. "We're perfectly capable of feeding ourselves when Kepler's not around, and who the hell is Lovelace to be putting you in charge of... what, our general well being?"

"I mean, Kepler calls it catsitting, but--" Jacobi throws a pillow at him, and Eiffel is laughing as he darts into the bathroom.

Jacobi already has four texts from Maxwell when he checks his phone.

'where did you go i need your brain'

'seriously did you leave it's only midnight'

'i figured it out without you'

'oh my god you slept with him again didn't you?' followed by three screens of 'hahahahahahaha'

Jacobi texts back 'you can't prove anything.' and 'I fucking hate you', and then he rolls over and goes back to sleep until the smell of food cooking wakes him up again.

"Maxwell's on her way," Eiffel says, standing at the stove in pyjama pants and an apron Jacobi's pretty sure he stole from Kepler. "There's coffee in the pot, and I promise I won't look while you dump half the sugar bowl into it."

Jacobi makes a face at the back of his head. "Fuck you."

"You say the sweetest things."

The first few pancakes are heart shaped. Eiffel draws a smiley face on Jacobi's with whipped cream. Jacobi's going to have to kill him. That's really all there is to it.

The next pancake is shaped like a dinosaur. Jacobi, because he's an asshole, says, "You've uh, got some real tallent there." It's a joke, but Eiffel hunches in on himself.

"Yeah," he says. "I had practice. 

Jacobi says, "Kepler tried to teach me how to make pancakes once."

"Cool," says Eiffel. When he turns to look at Jacobi there's an honest to god sunbeam illuminating his tired little smile.

Jacobi eats the pancakes.


End file.
